Martin Tanner II

Week one is in the bag and it has not been perfect, far from it. But in terms of proof of concept it has been a great success. So progress? I definitely think so, but I am very glad that I permitted myself to fail.

This week was hampered by, well … life! Sick kids, sick wife, sick me, work, and all the other little things that seem to vacuum up time, energy, and everything else with abandon, consumed most of my week. Despite all of this, I consider the week a win. Why? Well, I have enjoyed 3 evening walks with my wife and kids–the best part of my day by a country mile, and 2 HIIT workouts (although enjoyed may be an adjective too far when it comes to working out. Although I have allowed myself to bask in the glow of accomplishment that has followed these exercises). It is 9:12 p.m. on Friday 25 March, 2022, and my second HIIT is just completed. Which, if you will permit me a small conceit (oxymoron?!), is a fine demonstration of self discipline and determination.

Why is all of this the proof of concept? Well, the old me would have allowed one day of failure, one missed goal, one moment of weakness to snowball into a week, or even month, of failures, missed goals and moments of weakness. I would have wallowed in these mistakes like a pig in muck. My self loathing would have grown with each passing moment. That self loathing would have made the muck ever more cloying, glutinous and, frankly, fetid. My escape would become impossible or, at least, would have seemed so. Thankfully, and because of my new mindset, that has not been my experience this week. Hopefully I will run tomorrow or Sunday and set myself up for greater success next week. The battle (war) continues.

It is also a win that I am sitting down to write this post.

In relation to my other written endeavors, I have had less success than I had hoped. I have not written a word of my book, or my short story. But I have had ideas aplenty and I have two, maybe three, short stories in mind for the next few weeks. At least two of these stories will allow me to practice concepts for my book and test some ideas that I have:

1. A fictional account of the Battle of Los Yebenes (a cavalry battle during the Peninsular War). The book/books I have in mind will feature a great war. I have always enjoyed history, and military history in particular. Since I will have to describe battles in the books I write, I hope to take this real battle and describe it from several perspectives. In the course of this project I hope to practice techniques I will need to employ in the course of writing major battles for my book. I was particularly attracted by the start of the Battle of Los Yebenes which occurred almost accidentally as forces met in the morning fog in Spain. A concept that I like.
2. A fictional account of the sinking of the Arniston, an East India Company ship. One of the main characters in my book will flee to the sea and will be prove his mettle in a shipwreck. The shipwreck of the Arniston struck me as a close analogy to what I had in mind for my book.
3. A “coming of age” story for Daniel from Dahl’s “Danny, the Champion of the World” entitled, “Daniel, the Champion of the World?” This story will tie in with one of the concepts that I have been ruminating for some time: What defines success? And, does society impose impossible standards on everyone?

I find the “Danny, the Champion of the World?” concept particularly attractive at the moment. Without going into too much morbid detail, I have seen a number of obituaries for friends, colleagues, and acquaintances recently and I have been intrigued by their form. The first few paragraphs seem to focus on the decedent’s work, and their parents. Spouses/significant others, children, siblings, and friends, seem to come last, almost as an afterthought. To me, and I do not claim to speak for everyone, this seems to be backwards. Should our work define us? For me, it absolutely should not. I work to live. I most assuredly do not live to work (although it sometimes feels like the opposite is true). And it seems to me that those I know who have dedicated their lives to work now regret poor relationships with spouses, children, and, I think, themselves. My concept for “Daniel, the Champion of the World?” is that Daniel, the adult Danny, is reflecting on his hopes and aspirations as a child, teenager, and young adult and comparing those with his aspirations today. In so doing, he drafts two obituaries, the one he would have hoped for when he was young and the one he hopes for now. In so doing, he realizes that as we grow we experiences small “deaths”. He realizes that as we age and we evolve we lose who we once were and that this is ok. In many respects, these “deaths” ought to be welcomed as an inevitable part of life.

All in all, the pudding this week has certainly eaten well. And, the cherry on top, my wife and I enjoyed a long overdue dinner out last night, truly excellent and a great tonic to end the week!